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The Most Annoying People On A Plane – Patrick Stewart Edition, Plus How To Deal

Patrick Stewart on Jimmy Kimmell

Nothing begs for problems with people like being confined in a small space with anxious fellow travelers. Somehow, annoying habits are amplified and issues arise and escalated to an unplanned stop because the rude guy behind kicked your seat to the point where you threatened to fill a sock with quarters and get swingy with it. (That may or may not have been a true story.) Thanks to “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Sir Patrick Stewart displayed the behavior of Expedia’s list of The Most Annoying People On A Plane

The Non-Stop Talker aka The Chatty Charlie

As Patrick portrays, ever so elegantly, there is always that guy on the plane who will tell you his entire life story, including the time he thought he was growing an eleventh finger but it turned out to just be a weird mole.

How to Deal: Pop your headphones on. You don’t even have to listen to anything, but it’s the universal sign for wanting quiet. If you forgot headphones, you poor thing, close your eyes, face away from Chatty Charlie and pretend to sleep. He might still ramble on, but wield a super-hero power of ignoring him until he finds someone else to ramble on at.

The Stinky Snacker

Patrick demonstrates the odoriferous power of the person who is scarfing down a day-old tuna sub and cheese that can knock out your sense of smell for three weeks.

How to Deal: There isn’t much you can do besides blocking the odor from entering your nostrils. Now might be a good time to make a trip to the equally smelly bathroom.

The Seat Climber

Ah, yes. This person will straddle your lap or head in effort to avoid stepping on your toes as they climb their way to the bathroom like a badger who doesn’t give a…care.

How to Deal: Offer to move out of the way. You’ll be tasked with contorting your body to accommodate the toilet-bound, but, as Patrick puts things, it’s better than having someone’s genitals in your face.

The Seat Kicker

Perhaps the worst person you can encounter on the plane, is the dreaded Seat Kicker. You might be plugged into your iPod, enjoying a lovely rendition of ‘Purple Rain,’ but the person behind you suddenly can’t control their feet.

How to Deal: Most of the time, the feet belong to a kid. All you can really do is ask him or her to stop. Parents rarely get involved and when they do, the side with their tot. You can always get the flight attendant involved, but there is little he/she can do. Ask repeatedly, and politely as you can muster, for the kicking to stop. If that doesn’t work, there is always the threat of a sock full of quarters.

The Landing Clapper

This behavior has always baffled me. Why? Why, do people feel compelled to clap when you arrive at your destination? Do you they do this in their car, thankful they made it Kmart?

How to Deal: Raise and eyebrow and try to gracefully exit the plane.

The entire list, which surveyed 1,000 Americans, is a little more in-depth…

1. Rear seat-kicker (67%)

2. Inattentive parents (64%)

3. Aromatic passenger (56%)

4. Audio-insensitive (talking/music) (51%)

5. Boozer (50%)

6. Chatty Cathy (43%)

7. Carry-on baggage offenders (39%)

8. Armrest hog (38%)

9. Seat-back guy (aka seat recliner) (37%)

10. Queue jumper (35%)

11. Overhead bin inconsiderate (32%)

12. Pungent foodies (32%)

13. Back-of-seat grabber (31%)

14. Playboy (reads/watches adult content) (30%)

15. Amorous (inappropriate affection) (29%)

16. Mad bladder (28%)

17. Undresser (removes shoes or more) (26%)

18. Seat switcher (13%)